The area between the house and the back woods used to be used as a pasture back when my dad was a boy here. Cows and horses grazed it. When I was a boy, our neighbors ran their horses there. What used to qualify as a pasture can now be considered nothing less than a wilderness meadow. Sweet Bedstraw, Milkweed, Goldenrod, Wild Strawberries, Moss, Alders are all competing for space and pushing out the grass and alfalfa that used to hold so much sway.
While mowing yesterday, I produced quite a lot of mulch from this mix of wild growth and human-designed plantings and wondered what kind of animal — if any — could eat it. Danielle and I would love to get some Icelandic sheep to graze out there. We’ve recently started thinking about — at least I have — having some kind of cow (though a lactose-intolerant family would lead me to believe that perhaps a goat would make more sense) out there. So what kind of animals could survive on such a wild mix of crap? According to my dad not any kind of cow except a particular kind of Scottish breed. As I thought about that, it struck me as funny. So funny, in fact, that the following scene has been playing through my head since yesterday morning. I imagine a breakfast session in our back pasture might go something like this: (with honor to Danny Bhoy).
Morning on the farm. The sun rises above the northeastern woods. A few cows and sheep graze passively in the meadow.
Holstein (munching on straw and hay): Mmmm. I love this clover and grass here. It’s so good. Yum yum light tasty breakfast.
Icelandic (chewing contentedly on a string of moldy roots): Mmph. Ya pansy.
Ayershire (coming in with a giant wad of grassy, weedy, seedy stuff): Aye, sheep. That’s no way ta start tha day, Holstein.
Holstein: Ew. What’s that ball of sloppiness you’re chewing on?
Ayershire: It’s “graggis”. My mum used ta make it for me every mornin’ when I was a wee calf. Goldenrod, grass, moss, alder sprouts all wrapped up in a milkweed leaf. Wanna bite, lass?
Holstein: Heavens, no!
Ayershire: Suit yerself. Oi, sheep! Wanna a taste o’ the graggis?
Icelandic (spitting a mouthful of something out): Ya! That sounds fantastic. It will go well with this moldy squashroot.
Holstein: …



