I’m going to split the topics of the post into two groups. The latter is the most important and is regarding whether the events in our lives happen for a reason or if they’re just random occurrences. Unfortunately, the first topic of this post is one I’ve written on before: my own lack of consistency in updating these pages. It’s been I-don’t-know-how-long since my last post, so I’ll just start this one with an update or two.

1. I’ve moved onegecko.com to a new server that I have more control over. Details of the reasons and what’s behind the move can be inferred by visiting www.sherbertia.com.
2. The 2010 World Cup has taken up most of my time, but it probably has for most of the rest of you, as well.
3. Lastly, I’ve been busy helping out a friend with her website. I’ll post details of that once it launches.

So, here endeth the excuses. Now for the reason I’m writing.

If you’re reading this, you’ve been told at some point in your life — probably at a profoundly tragic moment — that everything “happens for a reason”. Ostensibly, of course, this means that whatever it is you’re dealing with at that moment will be the cause of something else in the future. The statement is supposed to make us feel better. As though understanding why something happens is a kind of solace. A friend of mine has been noodling with this theme in some of his writing — which by the way is quite good so I hope he keeps going — so I’ve started to toss it around in my noggin as well. There are a number of paths to take in the discussion, but I’ll let him be the master of that journey. As for me it’s quite simple. It doesn’t matter why something happens. What matters is what you do next.

When my mother died, I found no solace in the typical “it’s all for a reason” argument. I knew the reason. Her diabetes got the best of her. The question that needed to be answered was “what next?”. In fact, the job of life is to consistently answer that question for ourselves. Lose your job? What are you going to do about it? Made a bad decision and got into a fight? Jail? What will you do next? The answer we find to the question of what next is what defines us for that moment. It’s what ultimately provides the foundation for all other decisions moving forward. Reputations are won and lost by the history of our answers to the question.

Is it important to try and understand the reason behind an event in our life? It might be. It is more important, however, to step forward into the aftermath of that event and try to figure out what to do next. A profoundly difficult task to say the least, but the comfort we can garner from taking affirmative and positive action is far greater than that provided by the answer to the weaker question of why.